Single and Bitter?

A lot has been on my heart lately. I haven't been making time for God. Really, my life has been a blur of work, sleep, and exercising. I went to church this past Sunday, and it was refreshing. There's a worship concert at church on Friday which I plan on going to. Ever since my fiance left me, I've felt empty. I had filled the void, where only God fits, with my ex. Then I tried filling it with working myself to death. Well... I'm learning to accept that God is the only thing that should fill me. In a sense, I'm angry with God. For my mom's death, for my fiance leaving, for things just not going right. God allowed those things to happen. They're to make me stronger. He will bring me through them. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ~Romans 8:28

Slowly, I'm chipping away at my bitterness. Part of it is contributed to exercising more. My endorphins have gotten more abundant, thus causing me to be happier. What an amazing God we have. To make our bodies work with itself. I mean, I would never have thought of making us happier when we exercise consistently. Basically, stay fit, be happier. Most of it is that I'm coming back to God. It's not that I went and joined a cult or completely strayed from Him. I had decided that I could do things on my own. I thought I was strong enough. Maybe I'm STRONG enough to just get by, but why "just get by" when I can be comforted by the creator of this earth? He is sufficient. He knew me before I was born, and He will still know me after I've been dead for a thousand years. How amazing is it that our God knows how many tears we have cried, and will cry? He knows how many hairs are on our heads.

That was a small rabbit trail. I want to talk about bitterness and singleness. Honestly, they sometimes go hand in hand. I've been there. I'm single right now. For a while, I was able to say, "Oh well. God will bring someone to me when He feels I'm ready." Now it's gotten a little more difficult. I have to trust in Him. I don't want a repeat of my last relationship. Totally not worth the pain. So, where does that leave me? Slightly sad and majorly bitter. A wise man once said to me, "Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other guy to die."How true is that? You're sitting there stewing, fermenting. Eventually, it WILL consume you. The other guy either doesn't know, or doesn't care. If he doesn't know, you should have talked to him right away. If he doesn't care, let God deal with him. Life is so much easier lived happily in Jesus.

An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.~1 Corinthians 7:34. Learning to live happily while single after seeing the joys in being in a relationship is difficult. But I take comfort in the verse above. Dedicate your time to God and He will bless you! Not just your spare time. Make time for Him! The very least you can do for your creator is give him some time in your day.

Give it some thought: What can you prune in your life to make more room and time for God?

~B